


put your head on my shoulder

by LycanCoffee



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2001), Fruits Basket (Anime 2019)
Genre: Domestic, F/F, Kissing, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26202889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LycanCoffee/pseuds/LycanCoffee
Summary: They got used to the pattern of domestic life fast. Schedules tacked on the fridge- garbage day, dinner planning, classes- led their days. They moved easily around school and chores and work (even though Hanajima's parents offered to help pay rent and such, Uotani wasn't willing to depend on their generosity more than necessary) like a well-oiled machine.Uotani made sure Hanajima got to her morning class. Hanajima made Uotani lunch. They had eggplant casserole most Tuesdays, and they watched TV in the evenings. They spent time with friends, old and new, but always returned to the same place.Like clockwork.
Relationships: Hanajima Saki/Uotani Arisa
Comments: 8
Kudos: 17





	put your head on my shoulder

**Author's Note:**

> mom said ITS MY turn on the niche lesbian ships  
> Disclaimer: as will probably become obvious, ive only watched fruits basket 2001 and the first season of 2019  
> i dont know anything from the manga or the most recent season, so, sorry if that makes this really weird lol  
> either way, please dont spoil anything in the comments !
> 
> uhh yeah thats it enjoy

It was only natural that Uotani and Hanajima stuck together after highschool. 

Besides Tohru, they were each other's closest friends, and since she met the Sohmas', she had new prospects. 

So Uotani and Hanajima stuck together. 

They'd been a matched set for however long- salt and pepper, blonde and black-haired. They applied to the same schools, and when they got into one, they enrolled.

And here they were.

Standing outside the university before orientation, Uotani froze up. She was caught, like the invisible line between campus and city was a wall of dry ice, untouchable. 

"Are you alright?" Hanajima asked, deadpan as ever, though her eyes held a hint of worry. 

"'m fine," Uotani said. "I just- It's nothing." Her hands were trembling, almost imperceptibly. Her eyes were locked dead ahead, unmoving. 

Hanajima took her arm suddenly. It felt like a static shock, electrifying her muscles back to life.

"We don't have to go in yet."

They stared at each other. Something passed over Uotani's face, and she sighed, giving in. 

"Okay."

They found a crepe stand in the park. It served as a nice distraction, watching the birds as they munched on their crepes. Chocolate and strawberry. 

Uotani asked for a bite of the chocolate. Hanajima nodded without a word. 

She felt the tension in her back loosen as they sat there, in the almost silent park. Kids were all at school, adults at work. Animals were starting to hide from the cold.

"...I'm the first one in my family to go to college, y'know," Uotani said. She laughed, and ran a shaky hand through her hair. 

"After I met Tohru, and I started paying attention in school, I started to actually like it, so… it made sense." She inhaled sharply. "But I can't help but feel that after everything I've been lucky enough to have, I'm- gonna fuck this up, y'know?" Her voice was starting to catch in her throat. She swallowed the coming tears.  _ Jesus, get a grip.  _

Hanajima placed her hand over Uotani's free one, resting beside her. Uotani immediately felt her shoulders relax. 

"You'll be alright," Hanajima said. "You always are." She tilted her head without emotion. "The stress is just getting to you. I can feel it in your waves."

Uotani chuckled. "You got me there." 

Quickly, she choked down the rest of her crepe, and stood up. "Let's go, Hanajima." Her brilliant smile was more genuine than it had been that morning.

Hanajima smiled as well, softer. "Let's," she said.

-

The apartment they moved into together was small, but not unbearably so for two people so used to each other. It was clean, and comfortable. No problems except the ants, and Hanajima had that handled… somehow. 

Most importantly, it was full of light. Uotani got misty-eyed the first time they came by to check it out, and the sun hung cloudless in the sky through the clear glass window. Neither of them needed to say anything. They both knew it reminded her of  _ home,  _ the one that wasn't her father's house. " _ It's perfect,"  _ she said. 

Hanajima bartered the price down to one they could afford.

They got used to the pattern of domestic life fast. Schedules tacked on the fridge- garbage day, dinner planning, classes- led their days. They moved easily around school and chores and work (even though Hanajima's parents offered to help pay rent and such, Uotani wasn't willing to depend on their generosity more than necessary) like a well-oiled machine. 

Uotani made sure Hanajima got to her morning class. Hanajima made Uotani lunch. They had eggplant casserole most Tuesdays, and they watched TV in the evenings. They spent time with friends, old and new, but always returned to the same place. 

Like clockwork.

-

Sophomore year of college, when returning from a drinking party with their highschool friends, Hanajima stopped suddenly while taking off her shoes at the entrance to their apartment.

"Eh? What's wrong, Hanajima?" 

Hanajima stared at the ground for a beat longer, before elegantly slipping off her shoes and setting them aside. 

"It is nothing, really. I simply realized something strange," she said, hanging her coat on the rack. Despite her cool demeanour, her face was a little red from drinking. (Uotani never drank.)

Uotani laughed privately at the gap as she went to fill a glass of water. "What is it?" She asked, smiling to herself.

"It's just, I call Tohru by her given name, but not you, even though I've known you just as long, and now we are roommates…" she tapered off, staring somewhere in the distance. Uotani handed her the glass, and she took it thankfully. 

"First name basis, huh?" Uotani flopped down next to Hanajima on the couch. "Guess that couldn't hurt. Right, Saki?"

Hanajima smiled slightly, lips resting against the edge of her cup. She resisted the urge to cover her expression by smoothing down her skirt. "Certainly, Arisa."

They laughed together, something quiet enough it lived entirely in the space between them, like a shared secret.

In the end, it didn't really change much. 

-

A couple months later, just a week or so after the long nightmare of finals had come and gone, Tohru came to visit. 

"Hey, Tohru! It's great to see you again," Uotani said, leaning against the door frame. "Come on in."

"I hope I'm not intruding!" she chirped. 

"Of course not. We're always happy to have you."

"Oh no, the pleasure's all mine!"

"Did you bring groceries?" Hana asked from the couch. She set down her book. "You didn't have to do that."

Tohru blushed. A vegetable of some kind was just barely peeking over the edge of her bag. "Ah, well," she said, scratching the back of her neck. "I really wanted to cook for you guys again!"

"Tohru…" Uotani said. Her voice had a scolding tone, but it was contradicted by the massive smile on her face. 

Without warning, they pounced, and Tohru was wrapped up in a group hug. 

"You are so precious, Tohru. Never change," Hanajima murmured. 

"So long as you let us help you, you rascal," Uotani said, tearing up. 

"You guys…" Tohru sobbed.

As they cooked together, Tohru couldn't help but watch her friends. They were like puzzle pieces that fit together so perfectly you couldn't see the seam. They'd always been close, but watching them now, they seemed even closer. Tohru felt a glow of happiness and pride.

_ *Click* _

With dinner complete and the table set, the girls settled down to eat. 

"Woah, Tohru! It looks delicious!" Uotani cheered. 

"Thanks," Hanajima said flatly.

"Oh, but you guys helped me, so it's really from all of us!" She said, flustering.

"Well then, thanks to us! Let's dig in."

Tohru giggled. She felt a light, fluffy feeling in her chest. She really loved her friends.

She sat on one side of the table, while Hanajima and Uotani sat on the other. They were so close together they must have been touching.

While they ate, Tohru noticed that Hana picked out the green onions in her food, and set them at the edge of her plate. Without hesitation, Uotani ate them, in some sort of unspoken agreement. 

_ *Click* _

Hana stood to refill her glass, and Uotani held out her own. 

"Could you get me some, Saki?" 

Tohru's eyes widened, chopsticks hovering before her mouth, forgotten. She'd never heard Uotani use Hana's first name...

"Of course, Arisa."

_ *Click* _

_ *Ding ding ding!!!* _

Blood rushed to Tohru's face as she went bright red. 

"Tohru? You okay?"

She set her chopsticks down with a click, expression sheepish. 

"I'm fine! Sorry, I just didn't realize you two, uh, were…"

Hanajima blinked. "I don't think it's that strange. We've known each other almost as long as you have." 

"Right, right! I wasn't saying anything," she said, fanning herself, "I was just surprised but really it makes sense when I think about it, kind of obvious, you know, as the next step, uh, and it's not like I've never met people who were… like  _ that _ before… if I'm honest I probably, uh,  _ nevermind…"  _ Tohru rambled on. She talked so fast the other two could hardly understand her. They shared a curious look, but brushed it off as Tohru being, well, Tohru. 

"Whatever you say, Tohru," Uotani said, smiling. "Hey, do we have any dessert?"

Hana placed a finger on her chin and stared cooly at the ceiling. "We might have some ice cream left."

Tohru brightened. "Really? What kind?"

Hanajima hummed as she searched the freezer. "Vanilla. Looks like we have some strawberries, too." 

Tohru looked as happy as if she had won the lottery. "Yay! That would be delicious," she said, clasping her hands. 

Hanajima smiled behind a hand, while Uotani laughed outright. 

"Ice cream it is, then!" She said.

The ice cream helped cool Tohru down, but she still looked a little odd the rest of the visit. (There was something…  _ embarrassed  _ about her waves, Hanajima confided.)

-

Hanajima was in the supermarket looking at fruit. 

It was August, which meant it was getting cooler, like a broken fever. It also meant blueberries were in season. 

She surveyed the stacked containers methodically, the people around her dulled to a not unpleasant buzz by her carefully tuned senses. Suddenly, something strange yet familiar appeared in her radar. 

She turned, long black skirt fluttering, and saw Yuki Sohma behind her, picking up a head of lettuce. He hadn't noticed her yet. He seemed to be in a decent mood, though. He'd changed since highschool, or perhaps her memory was playing tricks on her…

She went to greet him.

"Hello, Sohma."

He jumped. His shoulders were tensed as he turned to look at her, but they relaxed a little when he met her eyes. 

"Ah, Hanajima. It's been quite a while," he said, voice cool but not unkind. 

"Indeed," she said. "You're still treating Tohru well, aren't you?" The threat was obvious, though not all too serious. Sohma hadn't done anything to make her angry before. 

He smiled, seemingly used to her suspicion. It made him feel nostalgic, she noted. 

"Of course."

They stood in mutual silence. Hanajima was about to make her exit when Sohma's face lit up, as though suddenly remembering something. 

"Oh, I almost forgot." He bowed his head slightly. "Congratulations."

"... congratulations?" Hanajima did not remember anything she could be congratulated for at the moment. It was discomforting to have no clue what someone was talking about, when she usually held all the cards.

"I apologise, but I don't understand," she said, rather stiffly. 

Sohma's brows creased. "On your relationship." 

When Hanajima didn't react, he tilted his head, and explained further.

"...with Uotani. I'm sorry, was that a strange thing to say?"

Now.

Hanajima was not an easy person to fluster.

So it was an incredibly rare sight when, standing in the supermarket aisle, her entire face went bright pink. 

She went very still. Her expression was as stoic as ever, but her eyes were focused on some point far behind Sohma. 

"I do not," she said, voice unnaturally high, "understand."

Sohma looked at her with obvious concern. He seemed to puzzle something out in his mind. 

"...you are dating Uotani, correct?" He prodded. 

Hanajima slowly shook her head 'no'. 

The gears whirred in his head, and as he processed the information, a smile started to creep onto his face. He covered it with a hand, like that would make his amusement less obvious. (Hanajima could sense it from a mile away.)

"Sorry about that," he said, biting down his laughter. "Tohru must have got it in head somehow. I should probably correct her. She'll be embarrassed for weeks."

While she didn't want Tohru to freak out over a misunderstanding, (a tiny, microscopic understanding, nothing of note) it was probably for the best that it got cleared up soon. She nodded, trying to bring her soul back to her body before it floated away forever. Her face was starting to cool down, at least. She shut her eyes and sighed.

"...it is odd, though," Sohma said, voice edging dangerously close to teasing.

She snapped back to attention, her stare prompting him forward, though she couldn't manage much aggression behind it, given her scrambled composure.

"Given how oblivious Tohru can be, it's a little strange she would come to such a conclusion, don't you think?" He tilted his head again, this time smiling innocently. "I wonder…"

"It's not- I mean, it's-" she swallowed, then exhaled, very slowly, piecing her usual calm together bit by bit.

"It  _ is  _ strange," she said. "But I wouldn't worry about it." She glared at him to emphasize the point. It lacked her usual subtly but she was desperate to put an end to his prying.

"Of course." He bowed again, and said, "Take care. I'll give Tohru your regards, if you don't mind."

"Of course," she mimicked. She watched him leave.

Hanajima didn't buy any blueberries.

-

Ever since her conversation with Sohma- (and a frantic, apologetic phone call from Tohru where she had to insist many times over it was fine, just a misunderstanding, she wouldn't even have known if Sohma hadn't told her, don't even worry about Uotani, she's none the wiser, it's  _ alright _ , Tohru-)

-she'd started noticing.

She noticed how Uotani's recently cut hair fell over her face. She noticed how their fingers touched when Uotani handed her something. She noticed how close they were sitting on the couch. She noticed how, when she woke up in the morning, Uotani fell asleep sitting up because she didn't want to move and wake her. She stared up at her sleeping face, and noticed how easily she could spend hours lying across her lap, listening to her breathe.

Uotani was quickly, worryingly, becoming a fascination of hers. Once, she woke up before her alarm and sat bolt upright in bed, Sohma's stupid, smug expression imprinted on her brain. 

" _ I wonder… _ " it echoed teasingly. She wondered, too.

Hanajima failed Chemistry the first time around, but that didn't mean she didn't understand the basic premise. More so, given that she had to take it twice. You ask a question, you make a hypothesis, you experiment, and you document the results. 

She had her hypothesis. It weighed on her, squeezing her tighter and tighter until she thought she might burst. Soon enough, it got to the point that she couldn't ignore it. She needed answers more than she wanted to admit.

Now, how to broach the subject?

"Do you remember chemistry?" Hanajima asked.

"Chemistry?" Uotani wrinkled her nose. "Didn't you fail chemistry, Saki?"

Something fluttered in Hanajima's chest. She was almost certain it didn't use to do that.

"I retook the class, so it was fine," she defended. "I was learning more important things at the time."

"Like what?" Uotani returned playfully. She set down the book she was studying from to turn her whole body towards Hanajima, resting her folded arms on the back of the couch. "You almost failed all your other classes, too."

Hanajima found herself at a loss. "Maybe I am not meant for academia. I have other things, like…"

She paused, mentally running over her skills and accomplishments. Uotani watched her expectantly.

"...Street smarts," she finished lamely.

This sent Uotani into a giggling fit, laughing so hard her cheeks were red. " _ Street smarts?"  _ she repeated breathlessly. She exhaled, wiping her eyes. "Man, you're funny, Saki. Come study with me so we don't get a repeat."

Hanajima sighed. The plan was a bust, and she'd been roped into studying. Hanajima hated studying. Textbooks had dark, nefarious waves.

-

Despite her reluctance, she was still there hours later, glaring at her homework with killing intent. Uotani was reaching her limit, though, and was playing somewhat lethargically with a pencil.

"...Hey, Saki," she said, aiming for a distraction. "What were you gonna say about chemistry, earlier?" 

Hana's dark aura disappeared, and she blinked. "Oh, well…" she moved the papers to one side, and leaned on her elbow. "I was thinking about the scientific method."

"Huh?" her eyes widened curiously. "What for?"

She hummed, and tilted her head into her hand. 

"I saw 'the prince' the other day." She looked off to the side. "He said Tohru had a… misunderstanding after her visit here."

"What kinda misunderstanding?" 

Hana kept her eyes focused elsewhere. "She thought we were dating." 

Uotani dropped her pencil. "Wow, that's, huh, right? That's our Tohru, always gets the strangest ideas," she laughed.

She hummed noncommittally again. "Sohma seemed surprised when I told him otherwise." Their eyes met across the table. "Would it be that strange?"

Uotani blinked. "That's… I dunno. Would it?"

"That's where the scientific method comes in," she said. 

"Hmmmm, I guess that makes sense." She picked up her pencil and began to spin it rapidly in one hand. She squinted at the ceiling. After a moment, she slammed her hand down, mechanical pencil meeting wood with a clink. "Sure, yeah. C'mere," she said.

"What for?" Hana said cooly, though color was rising to her cheeks.

"Scientific method, right? Let's kiss and see what happens." She said it confidently enough, but at the word 'kiss' her face reddened to match Hana's. She shook her head as if to shake off the blush. 

"Okay," Hana said. She stood up, and walked around the coffee table and knelt between the table and couch, next to where Uotani sat. They stared at each other for a while. 

"Are you nervous?" Uotani said with a grin. 

"Are you?" She returned.

"Kind of," She said, laughing, quieter than she intended. Like there was a bubble around them that threatened to break. "I never did much kissing so you shouldn't make fun of me, okay?"

Hana kind-of smiled. They both knew she hadn't either. 

There was another pause, like they weren't sure what to make of each other. 

"Don't make fun of me, okay?" she repeated, barely at a whisper. She looked at her lips, then leaned in. 

It was a shallow kiss. Chaste. Uotani was surprised at how soft she was. Her heart was pounding, and then it was over.

When she opened her eyes, it was like she could see color for the first time. Fireworks were going off in her head, exploding and painting the words  _ "you're in love with you best friend, dumbass"  _ against a purple evening sky. She felt like she might be on fire.

_ Oh.  _

Hana was more flustered than she had ever seen in her in all the years they had known each other. She stood up very suddenly.

"I-have-to-think-about-some-things-now," she said all at once.

"Yeah," Uotani said. 

They stared at each other for a moment.

As quickly as she could, Hana swept up all her study materials, and disappeared into her room.

-

They didn't talk about it. 

It was just… there, thrumming underneath their every conversation like a baseline. They danced around it, talked around it, ignored it. Always one step forward, two steps back. They would stare at each other for a beat too long, or switch topics abruptly to avoid anything romance related. They spoke shallowly and awkwardly, did-you-get-bread and thanks-for-dinner making up the kinds of conversations they were willing to have. 

A week or so later Hana showed up unannounced on Tohru's doorstep, standing in the rain without an umbrella.

"You're gonna get a cold!" Tohru cried.

Hana looked at her blankly, then looked around at her surroundings, as if seeing them for the first time. "Oh," she muttered distractedly.

Tohru ushered her out of the rain.

"I don't deserve her," she admitted once inside. She sat on the edge of the bed, allowing Tohru to dry her hair with a fluffy white towel. "I'm a monster. I am supposed to live in unhappy solitude for the rest of my life."

"That's not true," Tohru said, voice soft and loving.

"I should move out."

"You don't want that, and I know Uotani doesn't either." She wrapped her arms around her, and nuzzled into her shoulder. "You love each other. Even since we were kids, we love each other and take care of each other no matter what happens, right? Even if it's scary. That's what my mom would say."

Hana began to sob, not from happiness but not quite from sadness either. She soaked the edge of her black sweater in tears, holding it to her face.

Tohru held her as she cried.

-

Hana woke up an undisclosed amount of time later, eyes stinging and head foggy. She'd slept on her still-damp hair, fallen all around her like a pillow. She sat up and looked blearily around at the darkened room, quickly realizing it wasn't her bedroom. She closed her eyes and tuned into her surroundings, organizing the waves she felt into the people they emanated from. 

There was the sound of an opening door, and she heard Uotani speak,  _ "Tohru, have you seen Saki? She wasn't there when I got home from work and-"  _ She was talking loud and fast, her anxiety overflowing. Hanajima felt a pang in her heart. She got up and wandered to the source, rubbing her eyes. 

"Arisa?" she said, speaking from the doorway. She felt her friends before she saw them, Tohru anxiously trying to calm down a flustered Uotani as she ranted. Her mouth shut as they made eye contact, and tears sprung to her eyes. 

"You asshole!" she sobbed, flinging herself around Hana. "Never run away again!" 

"You're wet," Hanajima noted. "Did you run here in the rain?"

"Of course I did!" she cried. "It's raining?"

Hana sighed, and hugged her back tightly, resting her head on her shoulder.

Tohru smiled, and everything felt alright.

-

She didn't let them go home until they'd had a cup of tea to warm up, and had an umbrella to walk under. 

"Take care, okay?" she asked, looking at them with her sparkly puppy dog eyes, and making both of them feel guilty for not taking shelter against the rain.

They barely said anything all the way home, arms linked underneath the embarrassingly bright pink umbrella, squeezing in tight to protect themselves. 

Once they were finally underneath the overhang above their door, Uotani folded up the umbrella, and knocked it against the ground a few times to shake off the water. They relaxed, moving a few inches apart though their arms were still linked, and stood there a moment, listening to the rain.

Hanajima went for the door, but Uotani stopped her, squeezing her hand to keep her in place. She was staring at the ground, like she was thinking hard about something. 

Hana waited. Then, Uotani wrapped her arms around her, hugging her as tightly as she had back at Tohru's. She burrowed her head into her shoulder, pressing her face against her neck, and breathed in deeply. Hana blushed pink to her hairline. She squeezed her back, gently resting her head against her shoulder in turn, and closing her eyes. They stood like that for a while, too.

"I'm done thinking," Uotani whispered. Her breath tickled the back of her neck. "What about you?"

"...yes," she replied. 

Uotani leaned back, and Hana missed the warmth already. She brought one hand up to cradle her chin, tracing circles with her thumb. Hanajima looked up at her through her eyelashes. She put a hand on top of Uotani's. She glanced down at her mouth. Uotani moved in slowly, like she was giving her time to change her mind, but instead she came up to meet her, and they kissed for a second time. 

It was longer this time, more heated. When they broke away, Uotani inhaled deeply, trying to calm her breathing. 

"I love you, Arisa," Hanajima said, quickly, as if she wanted to get it in before anything else. She was almost surprised by it. It was true, but she hadn't ever expected herself to be in the precarious situation of loving someone like that, enough to say it. 

Uotani laughed and held Hana closer. "I love you, Saki. A ton," she said. 

"You had to one-up me, didn't you," Hana said. Uotani giggled again, like her joy was overflowing, bubbling up and spilling out in little pieces unintentionally. "...are you crying?" Hana asked.

"Are you?" Uotani replied, wiping her eyes, her grin nearly splitting her face. Hana touched her own cheek. She was. She sighed, but it wasn't sad. 

-

It didn't change much in how they operated- they still had eggplant casserole most Tuesdays and watched TV together in the evening- but now they slept in the same bed and sometimes got distracted by making out during study sessions. 

"What are we gonna do with the extra bed, now?" Uotani asked. 

"It's for Tohru," Hanajima answered without needing to think. Uotani nodded her head sagely.

_ I'm so lucky to be with you,  _ she would mumble half-awake in the mornings. They'd curl into each other as the sun rose. Hana would watch it reflected in her eyes. She had never liked them as much as she did then. 

-

Hanajima brought her to the next family dinner. It wasn't the first time, but it was the first time Hana introduced her as "Arisa Uotani, my girlfriend". It went exceedingly well. After all, "lesbian" is a much easier concept to grasp than "psychic with the power to kill/maim", and they'd accepted the latter without fanfare.

Uotani called her dad over the phone. Hanajima held her hand while reading. 

"Do you remember Hanajima? We're dating now," she said.

There was a pause, and then,  _ "I'm proud of you, you know that?" _

Hana squeezed her hand as Uotani exhaled a shuddering, relieved sigh.

-

The next time Hanajima saw Sohma, she glared at him. "Don't laugh," it said, as cold as a blizzard that could tear your flesh.

He didn't laugh, but he did send a very nice letter in the mail. Hana considered it an act of psychological warfare.

-

It was only natural that Uotani and Hanajima stuck together after highschool, and maybe for the rest of their lives.

Even as they grew and changed, and made new friends in college, and Hana brought a kitten home even though the landlord said 'no pets'.  


They'd been a matched set for however long- salt and pepper, blonde and black-haired. They were so different, but maybe that made it even better; two people who could uniquely understand the bizarre trials they'd been through, the outcasts they'd become. The way love and genuine kindness heals you. How it feels to be seen.  Or maybe they just love each other, and that's how it is.  


So here they are.

They wouldn't want in any other way.  


**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading my femslash i love you????????? so much???? its always kind of weird posting something to a new fandom for the first time
> 
> If you haven't moved in a while here's a reminder to get off your phone!! get some water, take your meds, go to sleep, etc.   
> Make sure to stretch and take care of yourself consistently! stay home if you can, and take care of each other
> 
> I really hope you liked it !


End file.
